Dumpsters and Pretzels

So there's this thing called dumpster diving... have you heard of it?  If you haven't, I'd recommend watching the documentary "Dive" which is on Netflix.  Super interesting and a very intriguing activity... A friend of mine told me about it, to which I was like "whhhhaaat?"  But after I watched the documentary I was convinced, and totally wanted to do it too!  The idea is that every store cleans out their merchandise at the end of the day/week, but much of this food, products etc is perfectly fine and consumable.  So there will be full bags of packaged food just sitting in the top of dumpsters, food that hasn't even reached it's "sell by date".  Or other stores throwing away "defective" items that are perfectly fine to use but maybe not "salable".  So if you go after the store has closed and before the garbage trucks come (around midnight)...you could potentially have a ton of free stuff!  Now I realize some people may be disgusted at the thought of eating out of dumpsters... but I really don't find anything wrong with it, as long as the items are packaged and in a bag.

So we decided to give it a try!  We went out at 12:00am, hit about 8 grocery stores... with no luck!  None had food in their dumpsters...so we aren't sure if it was the wrong night to go or what.  So it was pretty discouraging!  But we had a lot of fun...sneaking around in the middle of the night is not a normal activity for a few suburban moms.  We had heard that Staples was a good store to check, so we went to their dumpsters.  Success!  In the first Staples we went to we found some random office supplies (all brand new in packages) and a safe (which was too heavy for us to get!).  At the second Staples we hit a jackpot!  Pens, pencils, and Sharpies galore!  We found tape, markers, folders, binders, coin counters, a calculator, headphones, wallets, an iPad cover, disks, and labels.  All of it was new, not even dented in the packages.  I'm not sure why they threw it out, but we were excited to find it!  So after we split it up, we each had a bulging garbage bag full of goodies.

We did find three big jugs of pretzels (sealed and unopened)... which was good because we were very hungry at 4am!

Joy

Life has changed...again!  Our newest precious addition, Israel Benjamin, came into our lives on January 18, 2012.  He is absolutely amazing.  The cutest baby on the planet of course!  He is smiling, kind of laughing, snuggly and kissable.  Life is just so much fun with a baby.  I know some people aren't baby people...but I am.  I've always loved babies, but having your own is like nothing else... Babies fill that spot in your arms that otherwise is empty most of the day.  They look at you like you're the most beautiful thing in the world.  They grab your hair, your shirt, your finger, like they're desperate for you.  They snuggle into your chest like you're their own personal pillow (which you are of course).  They cry and need you.  They need you... which is a wonderful feeling.  I love being needed by my children.  And to tell you the truth it scares me to think of the time they won't need me anymore.  I know it's coming...  

I have many days that I fail as a mother, as a teacher, as a wife.  I hate myself on those days.  I feel like giving up and why am I a mother and why in the world am I homeschooling these awful children? But those moments are brief in retrospect.  They're like tiny clouds in the most beautiful, rainbow filled sky.  The days I have with them (even the ones where half of it are terrible) are precious, sacred even.  I have moments that I treasure... Like the other day when Jonah was learning about Egypt in our Africa unit study.  I pulled out a few passages in the Bible for him to read about people in Egypt (Moses, Joseph, Mary and Joseph).  So we sat there and he read... my 6 year old boy and I reading and learning together.  I'd never had him read from a "grown up" Bible before.  It probably wasn't an epic moment for him...but for me it was one of those moments.  There are moments with Solomon where we are doing "school" and he gets so excited.  He wants to please me and his eyes twinkle with delight when he gets a flashcard right or does a workbook.  He claps his hands excitedly and says "this is so much fun mommy".  He brings joy to my life in ways that I missed out on before he was here. 

So in the midst of failure and having messy days, I have to remember this joy.  It's here that I want to remain...not lost in the ugliness of guilt and frustration.