Timing

My heart and mind have been consumed with adoption details... Just wondering and waiting, dreaming and pondering, fantasizing and speculating. When? Why? Who? It's overwhelming, and sometimes I feel like "is it worth it?" "maybe we should just have another child biologically, it sure seems easier"... but then I hear that still small voice reminding me of His commands to love orphans, to sacrifice ourselves for others, to give. I know it's His calling for our lives, and that is assurance enough for me. I'm frustrated that things aren't going faster, I wish we had been more diligent financially so we had more saved... but that's not how things are right now. I shared this with a friend who had adopted, and she told me something that I think will help me immensely through this process. She said that while they were waiting to receive their referral for their child, and then when then they were waiting to bring her home, she was reminded of God's perfect timing. She thought "we will be at the top of the waiting list when our child is ready for us", no sooner, no later. I loved that thought... yes, we can speed things up if we push papers faster, raise money faster... or we can slow things down if we're lazy and don't submit forms or do this or that... BUT our baby, the baby God has designed for our family, will not be ready until we are. God's timing is absolutely perfect... I pray that I embrace this truth in my heart, and act it out in my thought life. Will you pray that for us? That we don't get caught up in the "doing", that we meditate on the truth of God's sovereignty and plan for our adoption? I get all choked up just thinking about our baby...our baby who's not even born yet! But somewhere, far far away-that baby's parents are living and probably struggling. I've been praying for them in the meantime...

These are my thoughts this morning, as life seems "on hold", but moving fast at the same time. Thank you for sharing these emotions with me...