Another effort

Here I am again...trying to start this "blogging" thing. It's been a while. Every time I read someone else's blog, I am inspired to write my own. I love writing, I always have. I love the idea of putting my thoughts and feelings into words, sentances, paragraphs. Although I don't have any fantastic ideas or topics to explore, I feel drawn to write.

Today was a "bad mommy" day. I was tired, impatient, harsh, not fun. I hate these days. I wish I could be a perfect mom everyday. I wish I had a day that people would see me and say "woah, she is a great mom, I wish I could be like her!". Instead, I had a day where I would be afraid what people would say if they saw my mothering skills. Not like I'm beating my children or anything...don't call the police. It's just that I feel a higher calling to motherhood. I feel such a huge responsability to nurture, develop, disciple. The days where I'm just surviving, I fail. I know, I know...I"m being hard on myself. That's what I'd tell a friend. I have high expectations for everyone, everything...especially myself. This is the point where I remind myself that I AM a failure, I am not good; BUT that the LORD that HE is powerful, HE is good, HE is strong, loving, patient, and wise.

If I only remembered to trust in Him every minute instead of trying to "do my best"... If I remembered to pray instead of complain, or worship instead of whine. I think my day would have been a lot better.